So much in my head these days. I read the beautiful and profound thoughts of others, and, yet, here I sit, with nothing profound to say.
I used to think. I used to ponder the world’s hurts. I used to marvel the world’s wonders.
Now I ramble.
Haiti. Still so many people hurting. As I watched the news footage before the Super Bowl I was overwhelmed with the struggle the people still face. What will Haiti be like in a few years? How will this country with so few resources bounce back if the folks in Lousiana still struggle? What can I do? What should I do? How can I be an example to my children?
The younger two have discovered each other. They’ve become real friends. They play together all the time. Memmy cried today because he had to be at school when he just wanted to be at home playing with Sissy. They make up all kinds of pretend stories. They color and draw and cut and tape and glue and do it all over again. They give me plenty of time to listen and to rest.
Work is crazy. I am on too many committees. I can’t get enough finished, though I seem to get plenty started. I always feel like I am not doing something as well as I can or should. Then I worry about admitting it. I worry that someone will think, “yeah, I noticed she didn’t…” And worse, what if I really didn’t?
My house has a long to-do list. Should I finish Tiggy’s Man Cave, Sissy’s new room, take down my wallpaper, paint the kitchen, wash everyone’s sheets, find Mem’s other tennis shoe, clean out the “too little” boxes, oraganize the scrapbook stuff, scrub the shower, just keep typing???? So many ideas. So many questions.
Speaking of questions…when is enough enough? When should one be content? What’s meant to be? Motherhood really is my favorite job. Should it be my only job? Should it be a bigger job? Could we afford that? Could I stay awake?
Valentine’s Day is coming. How blessed am I to love and be loved by so many?! Papa Bear and I had an early date since he’s working next weekend. It was great to hang out “just us.” It was good to have time to really look at him and see how handsome he is, how his eyes crinkle when he smiles, how his hand is never cold when I hold it, how he offers to get the car for me, how he respects that I’d rather walk.
Super Bowl was awesome. ALL the kids were here. And we had good friends over. Everyone played together and cooperated and laughed. We all even rooted for the same team. Memmy kept a tally of everyone’s pick. Even Hershey picked the Saints! The food was delicious. Then it was delicious for lunch. Then it was delicious for supper!
Maybe we’ll get a snow day this week. Maybe I’ll tackle the to-do list.
OK, so the rambling helps. It’s not that I can no longer complete a profound thought. It’s just that I have lots of thoughts semi-completed! All added together, I’m pretty sure it would make one complete observation. Maybe? I’m not going to tally it up. I’m just going to let myself feel better. I do still think!
Mem just walked in….better write down to schedule that hair cut….Crud! It’s 9:00!….He should be sleeping….Then it wouldn’t matter that he can’t see through his bangs…
See! More thinking…