It seems as if I have been humbled over and over in the past week.
The last few days I’ve not felt the greatest. I sometimes have to make quick trips to the bathroom. I have an inhaler working overtime. Despite that, I happily volunteered to make a late night trip last night. Though I looked forward to spending “car time” with my sisters-in-law we left at 9 pm for an airport normally 3 hours away. I say “normally” because the weather was miserable. Upon returning home at 4 am after a long tense car ride, I made another quick trip to the bathroom. Ugh. I am humbled by my age, my health, my body, my need for sleep. I can’t do it all anymore. I can’t stay up all night and still be worthwhile in the morning. I thank God for our safe travel (though not without a close call). I am humbled to learn that my body is limited. I need sleep sometimes.
Side note: Only a woman could understand the value of “car time.” I love long trips with nothing to do but solve the world’s problems!
Not only physically am I humbled, but also in my family. Recently I thought I would have the opportunity to work half days next school year. I was so close. I have wanted this for a decade. And then, Papa had a better opportunity. His opportunity to no longer work swing shifts would not only make him a new man – happier, healthier – but also bring some needed consistency to our family routine. I let my chance go. I am proud that me, a generally selfish person, was able to let it go with not so much sadness. What I want for me is not always best for all of us. I am growing up. I am humbled to learn that I am not the only one who can hold together our family. I need help sometimes.
But what humbles me most is Haiti. There are many people with not so much to lose. Who have lost everything. Everything. Their homes. Their families. Their lives. Every person who died is someone’s baby. So many without. So many lost. It is overwhelming. I’ve read several accounts regarding the orphaned children, some before the quake and some since. I am heartened by the outpouring of support for these children. Trust me, I would be happy to bring a child home tonight. But my heart also breaks for the others. The 24 year old young mother who can’t find her parents. The 42 year old wife who lost her husband. Those with no means to find food or water. So heart breaking.
I look around my warm home. At my overflowing abundance. And feel so blessed. So sad. A little guilty. Who am I that I am blessed so completely? I am humbled by the power of nature. I am humbled by the Grace of God. I need Grace all the time.